How to Help Your Anxious Child Cope With Fears Or Anxiety

Submitted by: Amy Twain

Fear is a Reality and as Dr. Manassis says, “Being able to talk and discuss about fears could greatly help and words can take some of the powers out of the feeling; if you could give the fear a name it can become more manageable. As similar with any negative emotion, the more you speak or discuss about it, the more it becomes less powerful.” As trivial as the fear may seem, it feels real to a child and it may cause her or him to feel scared and anxious. Is your Child Anxious or Afraid? Parenting an anxious child oftentimes makes the parents anxious too.

Parents could help their anxious children to build and enhance the confidence and skills to conquer fears so that they do not grow into phobic reactions. The following methods may be used by parents to help their youngster in dealin


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g with her or his anxious tendencies. Symptoms and signs of anxiousness consist of: 1.) Very few friends outside the family. 2.) Tantrums or panic and fears of making mistakes or embarrassment. 3.) Fears about going to school or other places. 4.) Fears of meeting new people or talking to them. 5.) Persistent thoughts and intense fear about their safety. 6.) Recurring concerns or worries about school, family, activities or friends.

7.) Intense worries about daily tasks. 8.) Too many worries about things before they even happen. 9.) Trouble sleeping or having nightmares and frequent stomachaches or any other physical complaints. 10.) Lack of self confidence and low self esteem. 11.) Restless, sweating, fidgety, unable to relax physically. 12.) Being extremely cautious and avoidance of social gatherings. 14.) Constant and repetitive unwanted actions (compulsions) or thought (obsessions). Always Believe the Fears of your Child. By just telling your child, “Don’t be silly! There are no goblins or ghosts under your bed!” may get him to go to sleep, but it will not make the fear go away.

However, do not cater to fears. If your youngster does not like dogs, do not cross the street intentionally to avoid one. This would just support that dogs should be avoided and feared. Teach Dealing and Coping Techniques. Try these easy-to-practice-strategies. Using you as “home base”, your child could venture out toward the object that scares him and then return to you for safety before venturing out again. Relaxation techniques are helpful also, which includes deep breathing (imagining that the lungs are like balloons and letting them deflate slowly) and visualization (of lying on a beach or floating on a cloud, for example.) Teach Your Child How to Rate Fear-- you can teach your child how to rate the intensity of his fear on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the most intense or strongest.

The child might be able to “see” the fear as less intense than first felt. Younger children could think about how “full of fear” they are, with being full “up to my knees” as not so afraid, “up to my tummy” as more frightened and “up to my head” as truly petrified. Other methods to implement: 1.) Let your child succeed on her/his own. 2.) Set realistic expectations for the child and use positive reinforcement and statements like, “I like the way you did that!”


About the Author: The author of this article Amy Twain is a successful Self Improvement Coach. Amy just published a home study course on how to boost your Self Esteem overnight. More at

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